


The Missing Pages From (Fun Ghoul)’s Journal

by CallousHeartz



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-07 20:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18240035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallousHeartz/pseuds/CallousHeartz
Summary: “Pages supposedly torn from the journal of Fun Ghoul, a member of the desert-based gang known as the Killjoys. Although the year is unspecified, Fun Ghoul (previously known as ****** *********), is thought to have been around 13/14 years of age at the time these entries were written.”- taken from a report by a worker at Better Living Industries who wishes to remain anonymous





	The Missing Pages From (Fun Ghoul)’s Journal

Monday, 26th January

_mom's pissed off because i came home late again today._

_it's the third time this week, and she always tells me not to stay out after sunset - she says city kids aren't meant to, because it's dangerous. but that's bullshit, and i know it is because i do it all the time and hey, i'm not dead yet. i tried to tell her that - that it was bullshit - and all she did was send me to my room. she says i shouldn't swear. "gentlemen don't swear," she says._

_well, i'm not gonna be a gentleman, no matter what everyone says. i don't wanna wear a dumb suit and and smile at people all day and i really don’t wanna work in one of those big white office buildings that all look the same. school's boring as shit, and i don't wanna be bored when i'm an adult too. being an adult’s my chance to actually, properly do what i want - why would i blow my chance like that?_

_sometimes i wanna get out of this city. i dunno where i'd go. i just wanna run as far away as i can, and i never wanna come back._

Tuesday, 27th January

_today i did something real bad. like, so bad i could've got in big trouble, but i didn't._

_i snuck out of school after bio. the gates were closed, so i had to climb over, and i scratched my leg on the way down. it hurt kinda, but now i got another hole in my school trousers and it looks sick as fuck._

_after i got off the school premises, i ran real fast. i hope our head teacher didn't see me. she's sorta scary. i haven't seen her smile ever, but then again, i've also never seen her frown. i don't think i wanna see her do either of those things - there's this story people tell at our school that the kids who've seen her smile all lost their souls. i dunno how exactly that works, but i don't wanna risk it anytime soon. who knows, i might need my soul at some point._

_anyway, so then i went to the store. i didn't have any money on me - i haven't been given pocket money for the last month and a half, because mom says i have to actually do my chores to get it, like tidying my room. according to her, hiding all the shit under my bed doesn't count. i think that’s dumb. if you can’t see it, it shouldn’t matter. so yeah, i'm kinda broke right now, but i really wanted a bag of candy. so i found the candy, snuck it under my shirt and ran away._

_as i say, i didn't get caught, but the dude at the till looked really angry. i'm hiding in the bathroom right now - in the shower, with the curtain drawn. i know he doesn't know where i live, probably, but i'm still a little scared._ _some people know everything._ _on the upside, though, the candy's pretty good. this one time, my friend brought a bag of candy into school and he shoved some pieces in his ears. i dunno if i wanna try that. maybe later._

Thursday, 29th January

_my friend jake got this new girlfriend, he really likes her. he says he thinks he wants to kiss her but he's not sure he's ready yet and she's not sure she’s ready yet either, so they're sticking to holding hands and hugging and stuff. i met her today, and she's pretty cool and funny. i think we’re gonna be friends._

_jake and my other friends asked me if there were any girls i liked at our school. i kinda thought they were joking at first, so i laughed, because i dunno, i've never really thought about that. i’ve never liked a girl. i mean, of course i’ve liked girls - i like my mom and i like my friends who are girls, and i like the nice old lady with the pet chinchilla called Suzie who lives down the road. i've just never_ like _liked a girl. jake says when you_ like _like someone you think about them a lot. like, a lot a lot._ _well, there is someone at school i think about a lot._

_there's this bunch of kids in the grade above. they’re loud and some of them smoke behind the bike shed and sometimes i see them hanging out by the lockers. they also get in detention a lot. i know that because i get in detention too, and there's this one dude in their group who's had detention with me a couple times. sometimes he smiles at me in the corridor, and one time he said my sneakers were cool. he's nice i think, but i get nervous around him. i always hope i'll see him, but whenever i wanna talk to him i get shy at the last minute. i wanna say hi. i know it's dumb, but i can barely make eye contact. he's really cool, and i dunno.  
i think i like him. like,_ like _like him._

Friday, 30th January

_i got sent home from school halfway through the day._

_it was all ‘cause of this Matt dude. he’s a dickhead, so i shoved him against his locker and gave him a black eye. then he went crying to the school nurse._

_i got sent to the head’s office, and let me tell you, she’s way scarier up close. i bet she really does eat kids’ souls, i wouldn’t put it past her. she told me our school has a strict anti-bullying policy. i was just settling scores! last month, that Matt fucker tried to steal my backpack. he also aimed a baseball at my face, but i dodged it and threw it at the back of his head and then flipped him off. i tried to tell soul-drinking lady that (minus the bit where i threw the ball at him and flipped him off), and of course she didn’t believe me. because Matt’s a ‘good’ kid and i’m a ‘bad’ kid. it’s dumb as fuck. just because he does his homework and tucks his shirt in and lets teachers push him around doesn’t mean he isn’t a piece of shit._

_at least i get the rest of the day off, i guess. i think i’m gonna go hang out in the park._

Sunday, 1st February

_today i got a haircut. i did it myself, and i'm sorta proud of it._

_mom was a little angry - she said it looks silly, but i don't care. i think it's cool._

Wednesday, 4th February

_i’ve got a secret._

_i stopped taking my pills three months ago, but mom doesn't know. i flush them down the toilet when she goes downstairs._

_ever since i stopped taking them, things have been weird, but it’s not a bad sorta weird. at least, i don’t think it’s bad. i feel like i've been waking up, even though i’m not actually asleep. i used to feel sorta like a zombie all the time, almost like i wasn’t connected to some big part of myself, and i used to think like one, too. i dunno how a zombie thinks exactly, 'cause i've never met one, but i just know that something's been really different since i stopped taking the pills. better living says you gotta take them, and i think i know why._

_suddenly i've got all_ feelings, _i guess, and they all make sense, but they feel so new. like i’m not used to them yet. sometimes i wanna kick things and break things and say all the words my mom and the teachers tell me not to. and other times i just wanna cry into my pillow. and other times i think about my future in this city. how everyone looks the same, acts the same. like clones. and i don't wanna be a clone. i don't wanna forget who i was - who i_ am. _and i can't sleep when i think about it, i break into sweat and i can't stop my hands shaking. sometimes i feel like i can't breathe. but also, sometimes i feel great. i feel like i can do anything ever and nothing matters and i feel like smiling. i never felt like that when i was taking those pills. i wanna feel like that more._

Thursday, 5th February

_today i talked to this kid at school. i don’t remember their name, but they have cool hair and a nose piercing and they’re from that one group of ‘bad’ kids. the detention ones. they told me they'd stopped taking those pills a year ago, and so had all their friends. so had that one guy, the one who smiles at me._

_maybe that's why he smiles._


End file.
